They're happy birds that live in happy trees! I love Bob Ross aka the happy painter
Wooden sign: "Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden!" haha :) So True
Things I say & why I need this.I will punch you in the face. I wanna punch them in the face. They need to be punched in the face. Im want to punch some people in the face.
Mafia baby wants her brought to him alive so that he could retrieve that little nose of his.
You've Been Warned…
Farm: "Do not cross this pasture unless you can do it in 9 seconds, because the bull can do it in
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but.I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
Kraft has been making mac & cheese for how long now? Since 1937 (yep, I just Wikipedia'd it). that's plenty of time for them to invent a true easy-open box. You sit on a throne of lies!
Lesson in Womanhood: "You are only helpless while your nail polish is wet. Even then, you could pull a trigger if you had to.
Teacher humor -Dear Students, I know when you're texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.
Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories. Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories. Scientists have been lying to us for years. Here is the real definition of calories.
Love language humor (soy translates to, "I am.") But wouldn't milk introduce itself as "Soy leche" in Spanish? Oh, well the joke is still funny!
Sometimes in life you just have to put your big girl panties. I could sew these for a white elephant gift.
Me all the time. It's funny how after an argument is over, you start to think about all the clever shit you could ahve said
Let it snow wrapping paper fail — hilarious short jokes - jokes/