Everything I say comes out all wrong and I'm not trying to sound like this, I just don't know how I'm supposed to communicate and I'm sorry and I hate myself and I try to change, I really do, but I just keep messing up. This is me
That's where you messed up. You gave them the opportunity to picture a life without you, by being inconsistent. So when they got the strength, they walked away without looking back. No not walked away, they learned to move on.