I dreamt of him last night and he asked me, "What's your biggest mistake?" I reached for his hands, but I woke up before I could answer him. And even though I knew he could not hear me then, I still said it aloud, "You. Losing you.
I'm trying to understand this new dynamic between us. It's not as simple as, "You either want me or you don't. I hate that. Keeping you in my life might kill me. But letting you go will. Dang this is my life with one special person.